The Gorilla in Granny’s Knickers Drawer
A silly, giggly family story about imagination, dressing-up games, and a very suspicious fluffy lump.
Lottie loved going to Granny’s house.
Granny’s house smelled of biscuits, lavender soap and something mysterious bubbling in a saucepan. There were cushions with tassels, a clock shaped like a cat, and a biscuit tin that made a very important clunk when Granny opened it.
“Come in, my little sausage roll,” said Granny. “Shoes off. Bag down. Biscuit first or dressing-up first?”
“Biscuit first,” said Lottie.
“Correct answer,” said Granny.
Mum kissed Lottie on the head. “Be good for Granny.”
“I am always good,” said Lottie.
Granny raised one eyebrow.
“I am sometimes good,” said Lottie.
“That sounds more likely,” said Granny.
After the biscuit, Granny said, “Shall we find some dressing-up things?”
Lottie loved Granny’s dressing-up things. Granny had scarves with sparkles, hats with feathers, necklaces that clicked together, and one purple shawl that made anyone wearing it look like a queen of something.
They went into Granny’s bedroom. It was a small room with a stripy rug, a flowery bedspread and a chest of drawers that leaned slightly to one side, as if it had a secret.
Granny opened the top drawer.
Inside were socks.
Granny opened the second drawer.
Inside were scarves.
Granny opened the third drawer.
Inside were knickers.
Lots of knickers.
Pink knickers. Spotty knickers. Flowery knickers. Knickers with tiny bows. Knickers folded neatly. Knickers not folded neatly at all.
And right at the back, something brown and furry sat in a lump.
Lottie gasped.
Granny blinked. “What is it?”
Lottie pointed with one dramatic finger.
Granny peered into the drawer.
“A gorilla?”
“A big one,” whispered Lottie. “With a huge bottom.”
“Well,” said Granny. “That would explain why the drawer is so full.”
“And long arms,” said Lottie. “For reaching the spotty knickers.”
Granny nodded very seriously. “Gorillas are well known for liking spots.”
“And stripes.”
“Naturally.”
“And biscuits.”
Granny clutched the biscuit tin to her cardigan. “Not my biscuits.”
Lottie put both hands on her cheeks.
“We must do a gorilla check.”
Granny looked around the room. “What does a gorilla check need?”
“A spoon,” said Lottie.
“A spoon?”
“A long one. For poking.”
Granny went to the kitchen and came back with a wooden spoon.
Lottie stood behind Granny’s leg.
Granny gently poked the furry lump.
Poke.
Nothing happened.
She poked again.
Poke poke.
Still nothing.
Then the furry lump slid forward and flopped over a pair of yellow knickers.
Lottie squealed.
Granny picked it up.
It was not a gorilla.
It was Granny’s fluffy hot-water bottle cover.
“Oh,” said Granny. “This is Gerald.”
“Gerald?” said Lottie.
“My hot-water bottle. He keeps my toes warm.”
Lottie narrowed her eyes. “That is exactly what a gorilla would pretend to be.”
They put Gerald on the bed.
Then they opened the drawer again.
Something large and pink slid out.
“GORILLA SHORTS!” cried Lottie.
Granny held them up.
They were enormous pink bloomers with white spots.
“My old comfy knickers,” said Granny.
Lottie stared.
“They are big enough for a gorilla.”
“They are big enough for a very relaxed Saturday,” said Granny.
Lottie giggled.
Granny put the bloomers on her head.
“Do I look like a queen?”
“You look like a queen who has got dressed in the dark,” said Lottie.
Granny did a wobbly royal wave.
“Thank you, my loyal subject.”
But Lottie was not finished.
“There may still be a GORILLA in Granny’s KNICKERS drawer.”
“Goodness me,” said Granny. “He is a sneaky fellow.”
“We need a banana.”
Granny found one in the fruit bowl. It had three brown spots and a bendy middle.
Lottie placed it carefully on top of the drawer.
“If there is a gorilla,” she whispered, “he will smell it.”
They waited.
Tick went the cat clock.
Hum went the fridge.
Creak went Granny’s knee.
Nothing happened.
Then the drawer gave a tiny little rustle.
Lottie jumped.
Granny opened it slowly.
Out popped a feather boa.
It was long, purple and fluffy, and it slid down Granny’s arm like a very fancy snake.
“Aha!” said Granny. “Not a gorilla. A boa.”
Lottie gasped. “A jungle boa!”
“A dressing-up boa,” said Granny.
“Same thing,” said Lottie.
They wrapped the boa round their shoulders and tiptoed round the bedroom.
“Jungle explorers must be quiet,” whispered Lottie.
“Very quiet,” whispered Granny.
Then Granny’s slipper squeaked.
SQUEAK.
Lottie pointed. “Granny! Your foot gave us away!”
“My foot is not good at jungles,” said Granny.
At last, Granny sat on the bed.
“Lottie,” she said, “I am beginning to wonder if the gorilla might be in your imagination.”
Lottie thought about this.
She looked at the drawer.
She looked at the banana.
She looked at Gerald the hot-water bottle.
Then she looked at Granny.
“My imagination is very busy,” she said.
“It certainly is,” said Granny.
“Maybe the gorilla is shy.”
“Very shy.”
“And soft.”
“Extremely soft.”
“And he likes to sleep in warm knickers because jungles are draughty.”
Granny nodded. “That makes perfect sense.”
Lottie fetched paper and a crayon from Granny’s kitchen table. She drew a sign with wobbly letters.
GORILLA’S KNICKERS CAVE
KNOCK FIRST
Granny helped her stick it to the drawer.
Then Lottie knocked gently.
Knock knock.
“Good afternoon, Gorilla,” she said. “We are closing the cave now. Please do not eat Granny’s biscuits.”
Granny added, “Or my best spotty knickers.”
They shut the drawer very softly.
From inside came no growl at all.
But the banana on top rolled a tiny bit to the left.
Lottie’s eyes went wide.
Granny’s eyes went wide too.
Then they both laughed until Granny had to sit down again.
That evening, Mum came to collect Lottie.
“Did you have a nice time?” Mum asked.
Lottie nodded. “There is a gorilla in Granny’s knickers drawer.”
Mum looked at Granny.
Granny sipped her cuppa. “Shy fellow.”
“He likes spots,” said Lottie.
“And bananas,” said Granny.
“And he is not allowed to eat biscuits,” said Lottie.
“Very important rule,” said Mum.
At bedtime, Lottie told the whole story again. She told it to Mum. She told it to her teddy. She told it to her socks.
Then she snuggled down under her duvet.
At Granny’s house, the bedroom was quiet. The chest of drawers stood in the corner with the little sign on the front.
Granny walked past in her slippers.
She stopped.
She knocked gently.
Knock knock.
“Goodnight, Gorilla,” she whispered.
Then she smiled to herself and went to bed, rather pleased to have a secret pretend gorilla living in her knickers drawer.